As I was walking through the parking lot to work today it dawned on me. SUPPORT. It sounds simple, but it is has a double edge to it.
We support our co-workers our family and friends the best ways that we know. When they hurt or are confused or need to ‘spill their frustration’ out, we SUPPORT them. The question is, are we supporting THEM, or are we spporting their STORY.
Think about it. We listen and acknowledge and nod our heads so that they feel heard. We may even chime in, “oh that’s terrible, … how could she have done that?…you must feel awful…didn’t he realize that was an insensitive remark….etc.”
We believe we are simply witnessing their pain and by doing so, are supporting them. In reality, we may be SUPPORTING the STORY they are telling themselves instead of helping them FREE themselves of that STORY.
Hmmmm? We tell ourselves STORIES all the time that aren’t neccesarily true. They are merely our interpretations of events….that keep us locked into that story. These stories reinforce that we are , victims, unloved, unheard, not understood etc. Pain is inevitable but suffering is not. I need to support the PERSON that I care about, and not the STORY they are telling themselves.
Everything happens for a reason. What if all events that were happening TO us, were actually happening FOR us?…to act as a catalyst to help us grow into our truest selves.
I will support YOU and not the STORY you are telling yourself. I will give you ‘options’ to ponder and ‘what if’s’ to insert into your inner storyline. THAT is how I can support you.